What Men and Women Want in Their Spouse (By Sam Adeyemi)

Marriage thrives on the God kind of love which is characterized by sacrifice, giving and forgiving. Each partner must be willing to make the right sacrifices to ensure the other person is fulfilled. Marriage is a blood covenant and the conditions are binding. Therefore when you decide to get married, bear in mind that you no longer have complete control over your life, so, if you are not willing to give up that control, you are not fit to venture into marriage.


Selfishness creates problems that eventually kill a marriage, which is when the individual needs of each partner is not met. It is very important that spouses identify very quickly each others' needs and work to meet them. Marriage will be blissful when the focus is on meeting the other partners' needs.


What are the basic needs of married men and women? The following tips will guide you, but the best guide is the Holy Spirit, so in doing our best, let us enlist His help.

• Men, being visually stimulated, need attractive wives. Ladies take note! A wise wife will take extra care to look good all the time, so as to continuously arouse her man's interest.
• Men need sexual fulfillment. Sex, for men, is a physiological need, just like food. A man needs and is ready to have sex every 48-72 hours! A wife should brace herself for this because a man can become irritable if this need is not met.
• Men need wives who respect and admire them, a woman who feels her husband is her hero. Men assess the level of respect their wives have for them by the way they speak to them. A wise wife will communicate respect every time.
• Men need women who are their recreational companions. A wise wife would develop an interest in her husband's hobbies.

• Women blossoms on sensitivity and affection. Being emotional beings, they express emotions and not necessarily facts when they speak. Therefore, a good husband should learn to listen patiently when his wife talks, albeit too much, and just reassure her.
• Women's greatest need  is security - financial and emotional. It's a man's duty to provide this. Financial security comes essentially from vision and not money. A woman feels secure when her husband is willing too work, protect and provide for the family.
• A woman needs a man who has honest and intimate conversations with her. Women are naturally intuitive so they can tell when they are being lied to. Men take note!
• A woman needs her husband to place the family first on his priority list.
• Women need men who will support and encourage their dreams and aspirations

As Christians, we need to work with different mindsets, esteeming the other person over ourselves. Nobody is superior to the other; remember that in Christ, there is no male or female. With God's grace, we will love sacrificially and build healthy relationships and homes.